Jim Cobb’s “Survival Weekly Dispatch is out, and I thought I would share it. I met Jim on the Buck Knives Press junket a couple of years ago, and we have become friends. I like his calmer and more thoughtful tone. He isn’t a “survival bro” like so many others in the online space, rather stresses the need for a community to band together in a true SHTF scenario. It isn’t that firearms and preparing for conflict are not important, but they are simply one tool in a much larger preparedness basket.
Prepper Tip — The easiest fight to win is the one that doesn’t happen. In the world of self-defense, de-escalation techniques are sometimes given far too little attention. Sure, there can be situations where violence is going to happen no matter what, but those are far outnumbered by situations where it could be avoided through the application of some de-escalation strategies.
This time around, let’s focus on communication.
There are two parts to communication—verbal and non-verbal. Verbal is what is heard, non-verbal is everything else.
Verbal starts with volume and tone. Speak calmly and avoid raising your voice as best you can. Depending on the environment, that might be a problem. For example, you’re in a nightclub or tavern. In a situation like that, what you want to avoid is sounding like you’re shouting AT the person, rather than TO them, if that makes sense. I also tend to slow my speech down a touch, as it can come across as more soothing.
What you say matters as much as how you say it. Avoid making demands. Think about it like this. If you and your significant other are having a spat and one of you says, “Calm down,” that’s just going to escalate things, right? Same thing applies outside the home. Use I statements instead, such as, “I can see that you’re angry. What can I do to help you?”
Don’t dismiss their feelings or judge them in any way. No matter if you feel they’re out of line, overreacting, or just being goofy, those feelings are all too real for them. Treat them with respect.
As for the non-verbal side of things, start by keeping a safe distance from them. This does multiple things. It keeps you out of reach, so they can’t swing and connect without at least moving toward you. Plus, keeping that space between you and them helps to keep you from looking threatening to them. If you can stand a little off to their side, rather than straight on face-to-face, all the better.
If you’re a hand talker, cool it as much as possible. Avoid sudden gestures, especially big ones where you’re swinging your arms and hands around. Just like with your voice, keep your movements slow and easy.
Most of us are pretty good at spotting fake smiles, so don’t bother with that. Instead, keep your expression neutral. Maintain some degree of eye contact, but don’t stare them down.
Strategies like these aren’t foolproof, but they’ll work more often than not. The goal is simply to talk the person down off the ledge, so to speak. You don’t need to be their new best friend, but if you can sidestep the fisticuffs, everyone wins.
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